You say that you would do twice, ten times, a hundred times, more than you did. But if you did ten thousand times ten thousand more than all men have done, what would that have been in the work of God? A mere nothing! God's work, like Himself, is infinite. God's work is you. Come to him, and be not a laborer but a son, and you will become a partner of the infinite God and of his world. In God's sight there is neither small nor great, there is only what is straight and what is crooked. Enter into the straight path of life and you will be with God and your work will be neither small nor great, it will be God's work. Remember that in heaven there is more joy over one sinner than over a hundred just persons. The world's work--all that you have neglected to do--has only shown you your sin, and you have repented. And when you repented you found the straight path. Go forward and follow it, and do not think of the past nor of what is great or small. All men are equal in God's sight! There is one God and one life!
--Old man, Walk in the Light While There is Light by Leo Tolstoy
Friday, April 29, 2011
life sucks
without cable.
Some things...
1) I'm starting to feel a sense of unrest. I wish there was a job I could have right now that meant a lot to me. Unfortunately, I am uneducated, and this leaves me with few options outside of retail or food service.
2) This has led me to want to volunteer. At least I won't feel so useless.
3) Some people really get it. Some people just REALLY DON'T GET IT. It's clear that a lot of people aren't thinkers, and that it's not average to contemplate everything. You may say, wait, I'm thinking about things all the time! But it's the level on which you're thinking that might be different from what I'm talking about. Indulge in matters of the soul, it's good for you, like Raisin Brahms. It makes me think of Cher from Clueless, though. She was actually kind of a deep thinker...
4) Soon, I'll be in Florida visiting my family, and I can't wait to see little Jonah swishing his big butt.
Some things...
1) I'm starting to feel a sense of unrest. I wish there was a job I could have right now that meant a lot to me. Unfortunately, I am uneducated, and this leaves me with few options outside of retail or food service.
2) This has led me to want to volunteer. At least I won't feel so useless.
3) Some people really get it. Some people just REALLY DON'T GET IT. It's clear that a lot of people aren't thinkers, and that it's not average to contemplate everything. You may say, wait, I'm thinking about things all the time! But it's the level on which you're thinking that might be different from what I'm talking about. Indulge in matters of the soul, it's good for you, like Raisin Brahms. It makes me think of Cher from Clueless, though. She was actually kind of a deep thinker...
4) Soon, I'll be in Florida visiting my family, and I can't wait to see little Jonah swishing his big butt.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
25 Songs that Changed Everything
I've been meaning to do this for a while. I've compiled a list of songs that either changed the music I listened to or the way I felt/perceived things in general. Songs that saved me and songs that define me. No particular order.
1) To Be Alone with You by Sufjan Stevens
2) Dog by El Perro Del Mar
3) It's All Gonna Break by Broken Social Scene
4) Sadie by Joanna Newsom
5) Talk Show Host by Radiohead
6) Sender by Pinback
7) Jesus Christ by Brand New
8) Pachuca Sunrise by Minus the Bear
9) Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie
10) Dramamine by Modest Mouse
11) Tautou by Brand New
12) Haligh, Haligh, a Lie by Bright Eyes
13) Metal Heart by Cat Power
14) Candyland by CocoRosie
15) Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect by The Decemberists
16) Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
17) The Sea and the Rhythm by Iron & Wine
18) Cat Faces by Ugly Casanova
19) I'll Believe in Anything by Wolf Parade
20) Cute Without the E by Taking Back Sunday
21) The Queen's Rebuke/The Crossing by The Decemberists
22) Seven Years (Acoustic) by Saosin
23) Everything by Lifehouse
24) Gold in the Air of Summer by Kings of Convenience
25) Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens
1) To Be Alone with You by Sufjan Stevens
2) Dog by El Perro Del Mar
3) It's All Gonna Break by Broken Social Scene
4) Sadie by Joanna Newsom
5) Talk Show Host by Radiohead
6) Sender by Pinback
7) Jesus Christ by Brand New
8) Pachuca Sunrise by Minus the Bear
9) Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie
10) Dramamine by Modest Mouse
11) Tautou by Brand New
12) Haligh, Haligh, a Lie by Bright Eyes
13) Metal Heart by Cat Power
14) Candyland by CocoRosie
15) Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect by The Decemberists
16) Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
17) The Sea and the Rhythm by Iron & Wine
18) Cat Faces by Ugly Casanova
19) I'll Believe in Anything by Wolf Parade
20) Cute Without the E by Taking Back Sunday
21) The Queen's Rebuke/The Crossing by The Decemberists
22) Seven Years (Acoustic) by Saosin
23) Everything by Lifehouse
24) Gold in the Air of Summer by Kings of Convenience
25) Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens
Monday, April 18, 2011
Anything important my life can be summed up in a moment. The clarifying moment, the first moment, the last moment, the fleeting instant, the brief glimpse. My foundation is made up of very, very small things. I don't remember most of them, but there are a few that stick with me.
The moment of truth. The sixty seconds in which I felt completely aware and at peace with reality.
The moment of deception. The sudden realization that everything I knew was a lie, and the life I had invested myself in was worth nothing.
The moment of value. I've walked the earth for years and feel like the things I have to show for it won't be worth much when I'm older.
The moment of cold water. The rush of a Pacific Ocean wave, and why I will never leave California.
The moment of love. The dip my stomach made, assuring me I would never get tired of the way things are.
The moment of life. The wave of understanding that I was extremely lucky to have still been alive.
The end moment. The pain that hit me when I knew everything needed to change in order for anything to be right.
Then there are the things that took me years for me to learn. There are things I am still learning. There are the things I will never learn. I will be so disappointed if it turns out that society really determined the person I became. I really hope I have more of a say in it than that.
The moment of truth. The sixty seconds in which I felt completely aware and at peace with reality.
The moment of deception. The sudden realization that everything I knew was a lie, and the life I had invested myself in was worth nothing.
The moment of value. I've walked the earth for years and feel like the things I have to show for it won't be worth much when I'm older.
The moment of cold water. The rush of a Pacific Ocean wave, and why I will never leave California.
The moment of love. The dip my stomach made, assuring me I would never get tired of the way things are.
The moment of life. The wave of understanding that I was extremely lucky to have still been alive.
The end moment. The pain that hit me when I knew everything needed to change in order for anything to be right.
Then there are the things that took me years for me to learn. There are things I am still learning. There are the things I will never learn. I will be so disappointed if it turns out that society really determined the person I became. I really hope I have more of a say in it than that.
I want a new life
Haven't written because I have nothing that great to say. Life reveals itself to be continuously false. I'm over it. Ready to move to the woods or the desert or the beach and just farm or something. I'd invite you, but I think I have to do this alone.
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