Quote of the Night

"It's funny that old people put make-up on."

quote of the month

"This is, first of all, why I want to commit suicide. Second of all, it's why I never want to be in relationships...there's no integrity, no beauty!"

quote of the night

"You know what's good to do with a soccer ball? Kick it around on the beach."

why'd you have to go and make speech so complicated?

"you're trying to be persuasive, looks like informative to me."

quote of the night

"Don't hate the player, hate the game."
"I DO hate you!!!"

the matrix

I think that he would rather suffer anything than entertain these false notions and live in this miserable manner.

quote of the night

"it's like your computer has some sort of beatles virus."

"You really shouldn't be so self-conscious of all your status updates. There's no rules on Facebook."

yes, sarah. there are totally rules on facebook.

awww yeahhhh

"General Grant habitually wears an expression as if he had determined to drive his head through a brick wall, and was about to do it."

Why does this cookie from Anderson's taste like weed? They're good but they're not THAT good, so maybe it's just me.

"Getting off the freeway sure makes you see how important love is."

the rain on my car is a baptism.

God's work is you.

You say that you would do twice, ten times, a hundred times, more than you did. But if you did ten thousand times ten thousand more than all men have done, what would that have been in the work of God? A mere nothing! God's work, like Himself, is infinite. God's work is you. Come to him, and be not a laborer but a son, and you will become a partner of the infinite God and of his world. In God's sight there is neither small nor great, there is only what is straight and what is crooked. Enter into the straight path of life and you will be with God and your work will be neither small nor great, it will be God's work. Remember that in heaven there is more joy over one sinner than over a hundred just persons. The world's work--all that you have neglected to do--has only shown you your sin, and you have repented. And when you repented you found the straight path. Go forward and follow it, and do not think of the past nor of what is great or small. All men are equal in God's sight! There is one God and one life!

--Old man, Walk in the Light While There is Light by Leo Tolstoy

SECOND BEST QUOTE OF THE DAY

Sarah (on the death of David Gaines): It's like, poor guy, but I mean, I don't even know him.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

SAM: The whole house is conspiring against me!
MOM (annoyed): What are you talking about?
SAM: The cat is meowing at me for food, YOU'RE telling me it's too hot in here, and Sarah is a Rays fan!!!!

"Tonight we're having intestines!" -- my step dad.

Things Harlan Says...

while walking through a crowded hallway: "BEEP BEEP! HOT STUFF COMING THROUGH!"

while taking a whiz: (singing) "I THINK WE'RE ALONE NOW. THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANYONE AH ROW HOUND."



this is going to be a recurring segment, so look forward to more THINGS HARLAN SAYS...