sometimes i have to fall to my knees. nothing will happen that isn't supposed to happen, so i won't continue to be so doubtful. there have been worse things, even in my life. when i think of the worst that could happen at this point or in the future, it's better than about a hundred points of my past.
faith is the simplest thing, but sometimes it is just so incomprehensible that i can't help but wonder how it can be expected of us at all. i don't know how i'm supposed to understand it fully, or trust it fully. i have so many physical senses that, despite what i know, everything is muddled. sometimes it's so good that it's painful, and i'm really happy that they exist. sometimes, i feel that if i didn't have faith, maybe things would be more simple, and decisions wouldn't always carry this weight of spirit, or depth of soul. sometimes i just don't want to know anymore.
but in the end, i'm always just thankful. i'm silly for worrying and almost unabashed in my naivety, and still, there is nothing but another chance for a good life and an infinite amount of backup plans.


props to the one who has literally thought about EVERYthing.