God is this missing thing. In our society, he has become archaic in every sense of his being. A handful of decades ago, surprisingly, he existed fully and was not only accepted, but sought. Integrated and involved.
I feel like the whole concept of God has become a universal joke, and the people who aren't laughing are being laughed at, incessantly. Embarrassing themselves, so to speak.
I feel sorry that I feel alone in my belief, and I feel sorry that I feel mistrustful of others who believe. But this still leads me to be thankful.
Five things
1) Faith. Mine and others, derived from good will and pure love. God is good, and his grace is not lost upon me yet, and hopefully never will be.
2) Second guessing myself. It gets so exhausting to the point where I won't be able to do it anymore. And I can't wait for that moment :)
3) My youth. I notice as get older, everyone you know starts to die. And it must get to a point where you start wondering when your time will come. After you have a pretty thick stack of funeral programs, your own mortality must become all too apparent. It's when you start getting your affairs in order and start looking back on all the things you never did. I'm thankful that I have time for that yet.
4) My guitar. Honestly. I've had it for 11 years, it's been everywhere I've ever been, and it's truly become a limb. I would cry if I lost it. It's nice to feel that way about things sometimes.
5) That I live in a town where there is Pinback on the jukebox. Seriously.
I get your point, but clearly God is not missing. He is still very present and clearly that is the case in your life. I know it is in mine. Faith is a gift. Trite, but true. But it is a gift that must be nourished. I know my own faith waxes and wanes. I take comfort in ritual and leverage that comfort in times of doubt.
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