No one seems to understand how hard this is. I never wanted to have to make the decision I'm going to have to make. Not ever. Everyone talks about it like it's a blip on a radar, or like the solution to the problem is so obvious, like getting a root canal. Yeah, you probably should've flossed, but now you just have to take care of it and be done with it.
People always talk about how we're so lucky we have choices, but this isn't a choice. We have the same power of choice as we ever did. Now, we have options. I see that I have options. But in this matter, I truly have no choice, unless I want to choose being destitute, miserable, and alone.
The only choice I had was the decision to take a risk. I backed myself into a corner, and I knew what I was getting myself into. That was the choice I made.