im probably going to fail

my art history final.

im sorry, but this is way too much shit for one person to study for one fucking test.
i mean, seriously, kenney.

pussy

boy, do i feel like a dummy.

having a vagina is a curse. end of story amen.

Two hundred and forty five dollars

to get back the car.

Honestly, I have the worst judgement, and I really feel like my life is out of control. Everything bad keeps happening, and I don't know what to do.

I know this seems like a seemingly trivial thing to get upset about, but when you have no money, it's a big deal.
I just have to have faith and stay calm and be thankful I have the best friend anyone could have.

a list of things i think are not cool

1) People's girlfriends
2) Thinking about someone when they're not there, i.e. missing someone.
3) Going to Spanish class
4) Running out of money and weed five days before payday.
5) That some of you people avidly read this blog but never comment.
6) Starting to like someone even when you know it's not going to amount to anything, and even if it did, you wouldn't want it to.
7) Still being in love with someone you aren't ready to be in love with.
8) Having two fifteen page study guides I have to review for my Art History final.
9) Getting two full days completely off from everything for the first time in months and spending them doing absolutely nothing.
10) Having to drive at least twenty-five minutes to get to anywhere I truly want or need to be.
11) That Sarah Q's do not grow on trees.

and can i just say

that it was a huge mistake downloading every episode of are you afraid of the dark ever??

because i mean, really. some of these are just terrible.

The things I hate about myself are the things you also hate about me.

You can't even see yourself being with someone like me, so cut the shit. It's not nearly as dramatic for you as you're making it seem. It sure helps get the ladies though.

to write freely part one

I should be sleeping but I turned around instead. I thought I could make it on foot. My thighs start to ache with restlessness. I want to run and feel my soles slap against pavement and tar until the arches of my feet are ripped and ridged.
I think it's about time you came driving back now. I saw you stocked up on gas tanks and water bottles, so when are you leaving, just tell me, I only want to know, and I'm not going to try to stop you. If you go, I will watch you leave. I will pack a cooler and make a sandwich and knit a sweater. I am there with you when your exhaust pipe puffs its last gasp of Floridian air. But I hope you have to guts to follow through. It's an open road out there, and it stretches for miles and weeks at that, and time is something that disappears when your money runs out.
So I pressed my ear to the ground to hear the tires squeak against the gravel. I love the sound of leaving, when life is beginning again. I'm happy when the light is fading and when my skin looks pale because the stars are few under these orange streetlamps and smog.
This is what life is going to be like now. It's going to keep going, and it's not going to stop. With every year that goes by, I wonder how I made it this far. I don't think it's going to be this way forever but it's hard to believe that something is going to change when it never does. Now I know this drum will beat my heart to death.
The sky faded into an opaque eggshell white, and I watched the sun dip beneath the ground. I wondered how hot it gets under there. I saw the road stretch into sand and roll on its back, and the spine of the freeway was buzzing, letting go of everything it once held on to, because what does the road have to worry about, what should the road have to love? It can just keep going. I
And I wish I could keep going. I feel like this is a pitstop a resting place a hospice a vacation home I want to get out of here but no one cares. I want to live life continuously and fearlessly. And I want to believe that my life is all there is and that there is nothing to live for after I die. But I know the truth, and that's why I feel that I must change. I don't want to, though, that's the truth.
If I have to be completely honest here it's to say that nothing is ever going to be the same for me. I don't want to know anyone just like they don't want to know me. I don't care to know what you are really going to be like because i know it's something I won't like, possibly something horrible.
But maybe if I was getting hurt, my life would be more interesting. Maybe if you hit me, it would make me feel alive. I guess it's sick to say, but I like it when my heart is hurting in someone else's hands. At least then I can show someone and tell them I am not in control of this. Bad things are going to happen to me, and that's the way it's going to be forever. I think it should be a profession to feel sorry for oneself because I think we all do it so convincingly.
But then I think, what do we really have to be afraid of? What in life has been as good as this? I know I have had it worse, and although at times you are just like the others with the way you look at me, I can see what you really want and who you really are. Yes, I know my mouth is big, I talk so much, I talk too damn much, and I should keep my mouth shut if I ever know what's good for me, and I need to sit on my hands to stop twitching my feet and moving my wrists and cracking my knuckles because everyone is going to see, sooner or later, that I'm not as like them as they think. I don't know how I blend in with the rest of society when I know exactly what I stand for and that the way I act is the exact opposite.
It's getting kind of late. This is how I am, but that doesn't mean I can live with it. I wonder when the self absorption will stop and if we'll ever stop feeling sorry for ourselves, and if I will always have to apologize for wasting everybody's time.

Back to the original square one.

Hernando County Arrests !!!!! March 9th !!!!!

I haven't done this lately so I'm excited!


Elizabeth C. Branson! Up to your old tricks, I see...grand theft and another scheme to obtain property!


lol


Now, he's in there for domestic battery. I know he looks scrawny, but he also looks crazy. I wouldn't want to piss him off EVER.


And this woman, already in jail, was caught trafficking drugs, and, obviously, being in possession of contraband. I hope she isn't somebody's mother!

Oh, and be on the look-out. This guy was arrested for a sex offender violation around Spring Hill Drive:


Wow. Maybe try NOT to look like a perv.

i am sick of

1) crazy nights
2) being thirsty
3) being on my period
4) bad news
5) black dog hair on every square inch of tile in this house
6) drunken disclaimers
7) fucking in fear that you will never fuck again
8) the word "goose"
9) texas chain massacre vibes
10) the smell of syrup
11) being bad
12) my dog running off into the neighbor's yard every morning when i first wake up
13) feeling like shit every day
14) drinkin smokin lyin dyin
15) dipset and all 617 associate rap music. sorry boston but seriously stick to reggaeton.