I'm going to have to reactivate my Facebook again pretty soon because I realized that without it, I simply have no interactions with my peers outside of business settings. I can't wait for school to start, even though last year was harder than I thought to meet people, although I have found Monica, whom I adore. More so she found me. In that case, I vow to be more outgoing and join more clubs and etc. I'm always the hand raiser and have an insight into every topic in class, but I don't think it necessarily speaks much about who I am as a non-intellectual, i.e. a loud, comical shit-talker, as lovable and compassionate as I am brazen and opinionated. No one gets to know me as I really am. The people who do either love me to death, or they either despise me in my entirety--I can only assume I must represent things they don't like. Sure, I talk openly about how much some of the things you like suck, and I get really loud when I'm having a conversation that I like, or sometimes I just have to comment on absolutely everything that I find relatively absurd. But at the same time, I feel like this is what makes me who I am--unabashed with a complete lack of grace, yet at the same time, totally forthcoming and admitting of my downfalls, happy to be here, honest, and brimming with love to a fault.
This may seem narcissistic, but it's almost a plea for understanding. I feel disliked by people, and I really feel it's only because they don't know anyone else like me. I'm almost retarded because I'm not a part of the modern idea of how people are supposed to be. Fuck it. Fuck it alllll. The people who appreciate this mentality are my friends. The people who don't can suck it because they'll never like me.
And that's how it is.
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Monday, April 27, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
APRIL IS AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH
So let's give credit where credit is due.
AUTISTIC PERSON OF THE DAY:
Asperger syndrome is a mild, high-functioning form of autism, which Steven Spielberg happens to have.
Obviously.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
I must have fallen asleep because I woke up somewhere different
When I opened my eyes I saw bright white walls shining with hand painted oil from my palms and the soles of a man who feels harder than the rain, but softer than the pain that sinks into my hips when his rough fingertips
search my whole body to discover the bone.
He also feels like too much sun and makes my pupils dilate and red spread underneath my skin until my limbs are fresh with heat, and my heart stops keeping beat as it slows, sinks, and swells, to the dismay of my cells
who come in the millions, and yet feel quite alone.
My head hangs on my spine like a broken streetlight
while my skirt is flying upward like your wanton kite
I want to be the one girl that you want to treat right
and not just in case you might get cold at night.
There are days when the sky is the film in my eyes, and it's hard to believe that the world isn't changing when my heart is expanding every day. But sometimes these feelings, they only can taunt me, when I can't imagine the reasons you want me, and the way that I feel is too good to be real
so this must be a dream that we've made.
And for those two weeks, I was tobacco free. Now your lungs are expanding, and your muscles stretch beneath me, and your soul drips like water onto a fever as my head becomes bright and increasingly warm, but before the words I choke on finally form, you have figured it out, and now love kills all doubt.
You know what I am, and you still aren't afraid.
search my whole body to discover the bone.
He also feels like too much sun and makes my pupils dilate and red spread underneath my skin until my limbs are fresh with heat, and my heart stops keeping beat as it slows, sinks, and swells, to the dismay of my cells
who come in the millions, and yet feel quite alone.
My head hangs on my spine like a broken streetlight
while my skirt is flying upward like your wanton kite
I want to be the one girl that you want to treat right
and not just in case you might get cold at night.
There are days when the sky is the film in my eyes, and it's hard to believe that the world isn't changing when my heart is expanding every day. But sometimes these feelings, they only can taunt me, when I can't imagine the reasons you want me, and the way that I feel is too good to be real
so this must be a dream that we've made.
And for those two weeks, I was tobacco free. Now your lungs are expanding, and your muscles stretch beneath me, and your soul drips like water onto a fever as my head becomes bright and increasingly warm, but before the words I choke on finally form, you have figured it out, and now love kills all doubt.
You know what I am, and you still aren't afraid.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Life with Noah
You thought I was done, but I definitely wasn't. I can't explain why I find this so interesting. I think it just baffles me to understand that people like Noah are actually out there, carrying on their lives without me.
This guy:
a fifteen year old named Jordan, starts calling Noah pathetic and tell him to leave LiLo alone etc. This sets Noah off on a philosophical rampage.
"People lke you are all fooled by Obama," he starts, "all prim and proper, nice and cute attitude, just like how a girl is supposed to act. Trust me man, that ain't real life!"
He continues, "Real life people don't supposed to get offended when someone calls them a name, or a joke, or a poke, or whatever." He signs heavily. "Nah, real life people are supposed to tell each other to fuck off and die! And they both give each other a hug because they trust each other SO MUCH they know that it's just a sign of affection!" He begins to grow angry again. "But people like YOU," he seethes. "You see a word like slut, ho, or something, and you get all irrational, saying I should act all nice and polite like Obama, that THAT is the example I should take, that I shouldn't slang and all my messages should be typed super perfect, too. Because I should question elite, preppy, ivy league mentality, I should want to BE one of those snobbish boys and act astute and calm and all that, and always go with the status quo." Finally, Noah is through with explaining. He tried to clarify a few things, but he was having trouble remaining calm. "GO FUCK YOSELF YOU BRAINWASHED MAGGOT FOR BRAIN SCUMBAGS TOO LAZY TO PICK UP A BOOK ON POLITICAL SCIENCE EVEN ONCE IN YO LIFE YET FEEL IT APPROPRIATE TO GIVE ME ADVICE! FUCK YOU AND YOUR STATUS QUO! I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU AND YOUR ESTABLISHMENT! I AM RAW, AND I WILL EAT YOUR EAR! YOU DON'T KNOW ME AND YOU NEVER WILL!!!!"
lol that's Noah.
Remember that Black Sheep rhyme? Someone responded, "Listening to your poetry explains why your music blows!" Music you can find here!
This guy:
a fifteen year old named Jordan, starts calling Noah pathetic and tell him to leave LiLo alone etc. This sets Noah off on a philosophical rampage.
"People lke you are all fooled by Obama," he starts, "all prim and proper, nice and cute attitude, just like how a girl is supposed to act. Trust me man, that ain't real life!"
He continues, "Real life people don't supposed to get offended when someone calls them a name, or a joke, or a poke, or whatever." He signs heavily. "Nah, real life people are supposed to tell each other to fuck off and die! And they both give each other a hug because they trust each other SO MUCH they know that it's just a sign of affection!" He begins to grow angry again. "But people like YOU," he seethes. "You see a word like slut, ho, or something, and you get all irrational, saying I should act all nice and polite like Obama, that THAT is the example I should take, that I shouldn't slang and all my messages should be typed super perfect, too. Because I should question elite, preppy, ivy league mentality, I should want to BE one of those snobbish boys and act astute and calm and all that, and always go with the status quo." Finally, Noah is through with explaining. He tried to clarify a few things, but he was having trouble remaining calm. "GO FUCK YOSELF YOU BRAINWASHED MAGGOT FOR BRAIN SCUMBAGS TOO LAZY TO PICK UP A BOOK ON POLITICAL SCIENCE EVEN ONCE IN YO LIFE YET FEEL IT APPROPRIATE TO GIVE ME ADVICE! FUCK YOU AND YOUR STATUS QUO! I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU AND YOUR ESTABLISHMENT! I AM RAW, AND I WILL EAT YOUR EAR! YOU DON'T KNOW ME AND YOU NEVER WILL!!!!"
lol that's Noah.
Remember that Black Sheep rhyme? Someone responded, "Listening to your poetry explains why your music blows!" Music you can find here!
Monday, February 9, 2009
A Few Issues
1) I think movies are strange because they take parts of life and portray them in a way that would never actually happen. It's frustrating sometimes, but in a way, it's good, because I don't think people really watch movies to get some reality. I'm mostly interested in movies that are way different than what my life is like, or something takes place that would never happen in my life. Randomly, a movie like my life will come out, and it will be something terrible like Taxi Driver, or Raging Bull, or Ronin, or, really, any Roberto Di Nero movie, and it's always a very profound experience for me.
One movie that really frustrates me, although it's probably one of my favorite movies, is Life is Beautiful. Because, really, I find it hard to believe that this guy was able to sneak his child into the barracks of his concentration camp, who just chills with him throughout the entire movie. That is a detail that is hard to overlook at times. I don't know, maybe the Italian Jews had it a little more lax in than the other Jews of the world in their Italian concentration camps, you know how they are.
2) There sure are a lot of power outlets in my room. Sometimes I worry about electromagnetic waves. I don't like the idea that these waves can give me a feeling of paranoia and fear, and the sensation that I'm being watched. It's going to make me think the house is haunted.
3) I'm running out of things to wear, and it's frustrating me!!!!
4) I can't find my remote control anywhere, I have no clue where it could be. This makes life a lot more difficult and inconvenient for me, because I hate getting out of bed to change the channel or turn it off. I guess I'm a little spoiled when it comes to the latest technology, such as jacuzzis and bobble heads and remote controls!
5) wonder more want more than we did before the shit is running and it runs deep i'm way out when you mean it on the inside you still can't get to me fits around me so tight fits around me so tight fits around me SO TIGHT fits around me SO TIGHT fits around me fits around me fits around me fits around me fits around fits around me fits around me fits around me
One movie that really frustrates me, although it's probably one of my favorite movies, is Life is Beautiful. Because, really, I find it hard to believe that this guy was able to sneak his child into the barracks of his concentration camp, who just chills with him throughout the entire movie. That is a detail that is hard to overlook at times. I don't know, maybe the Italian Jews had it a little more lax in than the other Jews of the world in their Italian concentration camps, you know how they are.
2) There sure are a lot of power outlets in my room. Sometimes I worry about electromagnetic waves. I don't like the idea that these waves can give me a feeling of paranoia and fear, and the sensation that I'm being watched. It's going to make me think the house is haunted.
3) I'm running out of things to wear, and it's frustrating me!!!!
4) I can't find my remote control anywhere, I have no clue where it could be. This makes life a lot more difficult and inconvenient for me, because I hate getting out of bed to change the channel or turn it off. I guess I'm a little spoiled when it comes to the latest technology, such as jacuzzis and bobble heads and remote controls!
5) wonder more want more than we did before the shit is running and it runs deep i'm way out when you mean it on the inside you still can't get to me fits around me so tight fits around me so tight fits around me SO TIGHT fits around me SO TIGHT fits around me fits around me fits around me fits around me fits around fits around me fits around me fits around me
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
anna's question of the day
hey people what's happening. I haven't done this little segment lately, so I thought I'd bring it back.
How do you like to be touched? This question isn't meant for any autistic people, so don't bother answering because we all know you HATE it.
Personally, I'm not answering this question because it's none of your business. But you have the saving grace of anonymity so don't hold back.
Some things for you to look forward to in upcoming blogs:
Sexuality. Why is it so pressing?
Sex. What's the deal?
Love. How is it different than sex?
Violence. How is it similar to sex?
Barack Obama. Where does he buy his suits?
Joe Biden. Why does he bore me to tears?
Haha just kidding I'm not writing blogs about any of that shit just wanted to make you think I was.
By the way, I want to thank my international readers in Canada, France, Turkey, the Czech Republic, and Germany, I hope you can read English, or else this blog might be a little confusing for you.
How do you like to be touched? This question isn't meant for any autistic people, so don't bother answering because we all know you HATE it.
Personally, I'm not answering this question because it's none of your business. But you have the saving grace of anonymity so don't hold back.
Some things for you to look forward to in upcoming blogs:
Sexuality. Why is it so pressing?
Sex. What's the deal?
Love. How is it different than sex?
Violence. How is it similar to sex?
Barack Obama. Where does he buy his suits?
Joe Biden. Why does he bore me to tears?
Haha just kidding I'm not writing blogs about any of that shit just wanted to make you think I was.
By the way, I want to thank my international readers in Canada, France, Turkey, the Czech Republic, and Germany, I hope you can read English, or else this blog might be a little confusing for you.
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