if you are a dumb crazy bitch who can't take a hint, maybe you should get a grip, stop doing drugs, and stop blaming everyone and everything but yourself for being a lazy unmotivated piece of shit. if you dropped the psycho, glenn close bullshit, people might not regret hooking up with you so much and might actually consider you someone worth being with.

ps: getting fucked up and forcing yourself upon someone doesn't make you guys an "item", it makes you desperate, pushy, and pathetic.

rough draft

Final draft coming when I'm actually not sick anymore, which seems like it's never gonna happen.



Thank you Elliott Smith for letting me ruin another one of your songs.

The Black Keys--Grown So Ugly

definitely one of my top five favorite bands.

A Gift to You

A lot of people got arrested yesterday. I think there is a lot of pressure with new year/new you/new WORLD thing going on lately. Here are some of my favorites.

DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE:


This guy violated probation, but the only thing interesting to me is that we were born on the exact same date.

8.10.88 FOR LYF NIGGA

OLD ASS PLAYA


CREEPY ASS PLAYA


DRUG ADDICTS





OUT OF HER ELEMENT


BLACK PEOPLE


violation of probation, happy little lady


suspended.revoked license

and the clincher!!!

ARMED ROBBERY.

that was satisfying

Sarah Sidel

Going back to CSI, which is really where my mind should be at all times, I don't understand why Sarah became a CSI.
I mean, I know she has this history of sexual abuse or whatever, so maybe she has this fixation on finding justice for rape victims. But either way, she seems easily shaken by events that take place. It's not a bad thing, because at least it shows a little humanity on Sarah's part. However, it doesn't make much sense because she is probably the least likable character on the show.
At first, I really hated Sarah, but then after a while, I grew to love her. The same as you would a hard ass teacher or an in-your-face therapist or a know-it-all roommate, I suppose. However, it would be nice if she would stop crying and dust the body for gunpowder residue, because no one wants to hear it.

And I know I am asexual, so I wish I wouldn't have dreams about ex-boyfriends or old friends, especially ones that are awesome.

more arrests

Life is rough...

...for rednecks




...for tweakers





...for nerds



...but mostly for black people





that includes half black people, too




Stay tuned...

My Hypotheses--The Science of Self-Awareness: Part I

Hypothesis 1) If I can access my conscious mind while I sleep, then I can control my dreams.
Dreams exist, and I'm going to prove it.
I discovered this in a paralytic state of reality a couple of nights ago. I reached it on accident, as I was dreaming normally, but then something happened where it got to the point that this was undeniably real, and that I was, indeed, conscious, although no longer in my usual third dimension. It is rather indescribable, but now I'm going to devote the rest of my life to the research and study of dreams. If anyone could volunteer to be a couple of test subjects, it would be greatly appreciated. I, myself, am planning on revisiting the comatose state I was in previously, if the circumstances are fitting and the timing is just right. There I discovered an alternate existence that is very real and can possibly be controlled if I play my cards right. It is going to be dangerous. If I appear dead, don't panic, I am only paralyzed. However, if I am dead, don't go blaming it on anything supernatural. For once, this is strictly science, and at times, there are casualties for the greater good of discovery. Know that I did not die in vain.
Hypothesis 2) If I am stuck puking in Hernando County, then God must have had good reason to bring me here. I've developed four possible solutions to why God brought a girl like me to a town like this, and they are:
a) to see how long it would take before I shoot myself in the face
b) to see how long it would take before someone else shoots me in the face
c) to see how long it would take before I get off my ass and actually try to do something with my life, which in turn challenges me and tests my faith.
d) to mess with me simply because he finds me rather annoying, and I ask for too many snakes.(you know, if a son asks a father for bread, would he in turn give him a snake? But sometimes, we ask our father for snakes, and of course, in turn, he gives us nothing.)
Now, knowing the nature and character of God, I am inclined to choose option C as the most likely explanation. Although, I would have chosen C anyway, because I'm horrible at multiple choice, and that's usually your best bet. However, you never really know. So on the off chance that God's plans can be summed up in these four bullet points, which they can't, there is a 75% likelihood that I am shit out of luck.
Hypothesis 3) I've come to the conclusion that people really don't give two shits about you, or me. Nobody cares. This hypothesis can easily be proven. Although, I should probably put it in the correct sentence structure:
IF people are so concerned with their own personal contributions to society, and their own problems, THEN they really don't give two shits about you, or me. So basically, don't bother.
Like I said, I can prove this easily.
"Hey, can I talk to you for a second? It's kind of important"
"No, not right now, I'm busy stacking these papers."
Any questions?
Hypothesis 4) If I do not become a writer, then I will be making a serious mistake. I HAVE to write for my profession. I just have to do it. If I do not write, I will will ruin my life. Now, I know YOU GUYS have no interest in anything I have to say, but that's because you know me and you have your biases, so it doesn't really matter to you. You can picture me typing away alone in my bedroom in complete darkness except for the glow of my computer screen, and it probably turns you off. Hey, I understand. But I think there are people out there who WILL give a shit about what I write, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to find them.
Because I've been sitting here for weeks now, and I've realized there is simply nothing else I would ever want to do ever, and nothing else I have ever wanted to do since the time I was five years old. When I am writing, it is the only time I feel completely at peace with myself (not counting spiritual experiences, obviously, although in a lot of ways, writing IS a spiritual experience for me). It makes me happier and is really the only worldly thing that can satisfy me at all. It is really all that I am. And I'm going to do it even if it kills me.
So haters, speak up now, so I can remember to NOT thank you when I'm on Oprah.

Hernando County Arrests 11/30

Some of my favorites:

First up is Mr. Keith Ritchie

Mr. Ritchie has quite the wrap sheet. Yesterday at 12:40 pm, he found himself incarcerated for:
possession of crack/cocaine (WHICH IS IT, CRACK OR COCAINE?, two counts of possession of stolen property, eluding a police officer, and driving with a suspended/revoked license.

Next is the beautiful Sanchel Stidham, who had a very rough night until 3:38 am when the cops saved her.

Unfortunately, she was already to up from the flo up. She was arrested for domestic battery, if you couldn't have guessed.

This poor pervert violated probation:

He is an identity thief, one of the fastest growing crimes in our country. SO GOOD JOB SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT.

So did this sweetheart

Don't let his pleasant demeanor fool you. Mr. Michael Borders has quite the wrap sheet, which includes arson, grand theft auto, a few counts of domestic battery and, my personal favorite, robbery sudden snatching.

Last, we have the soft spoken Vincent Teri

who was found shooting/throwing missiles in a "dwelling".

Stayed tuned...

i hired a private investigator (myself) to find out what scotty peterson's been up to since he's been sentenced to death.

apparently, he is an avid blogger.

so i have something in common with a pregnant wife killer.

who else can relate to scotty?
people born in san diego, people who went to cal poly, and people who like to fish.

and don't forget
people who kill people.




....more later....

time to start this up again

I've got people to impress.

So today I was going through Reader's Digest, kind of in a bored, self-pitying sort of way, like UHH THERE'S NOTHING TO DO I GUESS I JUST HAVE TO SUCCUMB TO THIS READER'S DIGEST. Because really...I don't know many people under thirty who give a shit.
But the point of my story is ad campaigns, and how they all suck. First of all, I take back my original skepticism about the Digest, because apparently it's a lot more interesting than I had expected it to be. There was an article about this Rembrandt painting heist told from the point of view from the copper who got it back. Awesome. But then it trickled off into a section that should say DIABETICS ONLY and an article about how to raise kind children, which is something I obviously am not concerned about at the moment. But in between all this, I came across a Dove, I'm assuming shampoo, ad. It shows some lady with nice hair, and it says, "Inner beauty makes your outside glow."
How disgusting is that.
I mean, apparently the thing with beauty ads now is to abandon the idea that we actually NEED their product, because we are beautiful on our own. As a matter of fact, we are SO beautiful that we need to use products that are reserved only for beautiful people, such as Dove, L'oreal, and Jenny Craig. I didn't understand it at all. Nothing about the ad made me remotely interested in their product. They didn't give me any reason to buy it. I think they are trying to convince people that they are a nice company with a bunch of nice people working there who are willing to compliment you for no reason, even though you might be reading this ad being fat and toothless, and for that reason alone we should become patrons of the company, regardless of what we are selling you, or whether you need it or not.
Where is the old-fashion strategy of, "This will make you beautiful, don't you want to be beautiful like this unrealistically beautiful model here?" I mean, I really think that's a lot more effective. It's one step away from saying, "You're not good enough", and people, especially women, definitely respond to that and are always ready to make themselves into something their not.
I wish the Dove company wasn't going to sell out to this new hippie self love bullshit and would go back to promoting fake faces and anorexia.