an anti-consumerism, jesus-freak christmas

word up!

HAPPY DOUBLE FRIDAY THE 13TH

HEY GUYS

A couple of things

1. As you probably know, it's Friday the 13th again, which I'm going to get my hopes up about and think that it's an apocalyptic sign. Life as we know it is slowly coming to a close.
2. As you can see, I have a new question of the day up, in relation to the Jeff Corwin entry.
3. In other news:



courtesy of dlisted

some advice

Don't get involved in any way with a person who will totally freak out. It's a super unfortunate occurrence, although usually predictable. But sometimes it can catch you off guard in six text messages every thirty seconds.
Hey, sorry to put it on blast, baby, but it's on my mind because it's almost bordering on harassment. Now let's see how many "anonymous" comments I get telling me to jump off a cliff.
Also, I LOVE Chinese food. I'm not sure if it falls under any specific food group under than Delicious.

Last Night's Dream

Last night in my dream some bitch was talking shit. So I was like, alright, how about we settle this like men. To my surprise, she is like, yeah, I'm down. So we take off all our jewelry because I'm apparently wearing some and pile it on the kitchen counter.
"Hey, let's make things interesting," I said.
"I'm listening," this bitch responded.
"Whoever wins the fight gets all the jewelry!"
And I guess Jesse was there and he said, "No, that's a lame idea. That's really gay. Not today, maybe if this was some other time."
So we didn't bet the jewelry. Either way, I expressed my fear in fighting her because she was fat and a lot taller than me, but turns out, I won the fight.
Also in my dream, this girl Kara who I've actually never met before and I became best friends, and I was so excited to find a girl who actually thought I was cool.
Haha, that's how I knew it was a dream, and I woke up shortly thereafter.
Also in my dream, my mom grounded me for six days because I slapped her.
Also in my dream, there was a party in Santa Cruz my sister had access to attending and refused to take me.
More later....

Jonah

I love my dog. He is really the greatest dog ever created. HE IS PERFECT in every way, and if you guys could just know him like I know him, you would never want to leave him, and you would miss him when you were gone.
Who wants to get to love my dog? Take us to the preserve, and we'll go for a walk. You definitely won't regret it.

BODY OVER MIND

Physical pain is something I definitely prefer to all other types of pain.
Physical pain distracts me long enough. I cherish my times of discomfort because it keeps my mind occupied.
So thank you, aching arms and blistered fingers, searing headaches and churning guts, bruised crevices and open sores, guitar strings and sharp corners, stainless steel and butane, sparking synapses and empty stomachs, and all tumors that have yet to be discovered, speak now or forever hold your peace. Because of you, I have not completely lost my mind. Being in constant pain has kept me in touch with reality.
Whichever naysayer is bold enough to disapprove of hypochondria obviously hasn't given it a shot, because it really works for me. Try it out. As they say, it's better to be sick than sorry.
And by sorry, I don't mean apologetic.

I'm starting to feel like maybe if I was openly crazy, people would get off my back. But since I appreciate societal standards and try to abide by them, I'm still expected to function with some level of normality. It seems like pulling the depressed card gets you out of jail free. I wish I could just tell everyone, hey, no, actually, I'm NOT going to do that because I'm a sociopath drug addict suffering from school age schizophrenia. Or maybe I can give the short version of how I hate everything about every aspect of my life, so fuck you.

Yes, I'm real mature for my age, I pay bills and do the shopping and shit. And by that I mean I lie in bed and play the Sims 2 and hope that my brain will start bleeding.

Loyal readers, I promise that one day, these blogs will start looking up. Until then, my room is a mess, I have two friends, no job, no money, no hobbies, I can't drive, and my curfew is 12 o clock until further notice

I'm joining a cult

At the end of 2011, we all kill ourselves.
But it's worth it because the couple of years before that are spent throwing coins off of the Empire State Building, which I've always wanted to do, and I get a new pair of Pumas every three months.
I have to recruit ten people by then, though, or else I don't get to commit suicide, so who's coming with me?

MENTHOL CIGARETTES

Today, I woke up about one something in the afternoon. I had no more cigarettes, so I grabbed one of my sister's Marlboro Menthol Lights.
WOW. What a mistake. I just had to post this blog about it, it was such a life changing experience for me. I feel like I actually lost brain cells from partaking in such an act.
Personally, I'm not a fan of the taste left in my mouth after leaving a Chinese run dentist office, therefore I can't find any enjoyment in a Marlboro menthol cigarette. And if you happen to be a person who smokes these, I'm going to have to jump to the conclusion that you are either a fob or a pussy. If you can't smoke a real cigarette, maybe you don't have the proper mindset to be smoking at all.
HEY HEY HEY I JUST WASTED YOUR TIME.

i hired a private investigator (myself) to find out what scotty peterson's been up to since he's been sentenced to death.

apparently, he is an avid blogger.

so i have something in common with a pregnant wife killer.

who else can relate to scotty?
people born in san diego, people who went to cal poly, and people who like to fish.

and don't forget
people who kill people.




....more later....

stupid but

im feeling pretty lonely.

i'm at a point in my life where having friends would really come in handy.
but instead, i just spend countless hours on the internet hoping to feel some sort of validation.
hey, whatever. it's just another downward spiral. TWO THUMBS UP.

katamari damacy

now rules my entire home.
and harlan and i think it's because the songs are subliminal messages...

"play katamari
damacy
kill your family
backyard bury."

but seriously, folks. i love it.
SO THANK YOU JASON.
now i can actually spend my unemployment doing something productive.