Sometimes I try to make myself feel better about all of this by reminding myself of all the people I used to care about and don't anymore. Really, though, that makes it about ten times worse. The truth is that I don't want to stop caring, and every time that something we used to have is pushed farther and farther away, the more afraid I get. I spend so much time pushing the thought of "It's really over" out of my head.
But it's really over, and it seems like the worst thing in the world. And knowing that one day, this won't feel like the worst thing in the world is what is making this more painful. I don't want to believe there will be a day that I don't care about him anymore.
It's impossible for me to let that happen.
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