The Jews are Alive With the Sound of Music

Last night, or should I say early this morning, I was trying to make a decision between the CSPAN channels. Normally, I like to stick with the original, but I've discovered that CSPAN2 really has the hidden gems. As I'm sure you've guessed, last night/this morning was no exception.

THIS is what I found:
1) the longest, never-ending Hanukkah song.
2) extremely horrible singers
3) attempted beat boxing
4) way too theatrical Jewish boys.
5) a bored out of his skull president.
6) a Jewish attempt to form a Baptist choir.
It was rather shocking to me, because I discovered that Jews really have no place in the field of, uh...vocal arts. Assuming Barbara Streisand is not a Jew, but then I remember Yentil, and she definitely IS Jewish.
Either way, it sucks for me because I always tend to LOVE Jewish boys. It is just some THING that I have, and I loved these kids and their yamakas. But then they're opening their mouths and singing and attempting to have some sort of rhythm. And really, it was just so hilarious. SO hilarious.
So, for your entertainment, I procured the following video of the Hanukkah Reception held by Mr. and Mrs. President at the White House on Monday, December 15.
Please just fast forward to the choir, no point hearing Bushie speak about Judaism (just head straight to 10:48 because this is the song in which the hilarity ensues). Just keep an eye out for their disturbing facial expressions and the "beat boxer" in the bottom left corner.




Shittiest singers EVER. It's just the worst thing I've seen. And I swear I hear them saying "Christ is the Lord" but really, this song is just so similar to all the shitty church songs out there. I wish they just stuck to their roots. This is why Jews don't ever become Baptists. Not to mention it's the longest Hanukkah song in the entire world.

THIS MOVIE WAS SUPER STINKY

like, dead rotting cow carcass stinky.

I guess i had expected it to be like this:



WHICH IS STILL
SO FREAKING AMAZING
WORDS CAN NOT DESCRIBE
ONLY NECKLACES MADE FROM BEADS OF MY TEARS ARE SUFFICIENT.

but let me just say, Joseph King of Dreams
WAS NOTHING LIKE THE PRINCE OF EGYPT. It was such a disgrace, because the story of Joseph is so off the chain and makes me cry, but this movie made me sick. The music was like if Randy Newman and Enya collaborated to make a piece of shit soundtrack for Toy Story 3, which doesn't exist, but would have a similar score to this movie. And Ben Affleck talked Joseph, and let me just say, if I didn't like him before, which I didn't, I definitely don't like him now. Seriously, what a dbag voice actor. He is the worst of the worst. It made me so depressed. I was trying to uplift myself with a nice Biblical movie, but instead I had no idea what was going on, or who any of these people were.
Luke Skywalker was in it though, and his character Judah was a hot cartoon.
But Prince of Egypt REALLY is one of the most incredible animated movies out there just talking about it gets me all excited.
But seriously. Not that you were going to, but DON'T watch Joseph King of Dreams.