i used to think i was competitive

But competition ain't my thing, and I don't like to fight for the guys I want.

now you flip the script, playa pleasth.

officially over it

and anyone who makes me have to question myself. you probably suck.

I also love being blessed with the clarity to see that the people I thought were cool actually aren't that cool, and it's good to know this now.

Soul mates

I often disregarded the idea of soul mates because how could we ever rest assured that we are ever going to meet them? How could we ever know where they are, who they are, or if we've already met them? Lately, though, I've realized that you don't always get to meet your soul mate. You can go your whole life without meeting your one true love. They're out there, but you'll never know. They might even be a fictional character.
In my case, I HAVE found my soul mate. I realize now that this is the only person who is meant for me, created by God as a MATE for my own SOUL. It's the one person in the whole world who could ever truly love and understand me, and the one person I could ever truly love and be loyal to.
Unfortunately, he is just an alter ego, and I will never get to be with him. But I'm thankful to know that there IS someone absolutely amazing out there for me, even if he will never be mine.



Thanks Charlie, for giving me hope that I will one day find someone kind of like you, but not my soul mate.

I've been meaning to write a blog for sometime, but everything that starts to come out is negative.
I'm getting annoyed at how liberal I'm becoming. I lost the idea for a while of running off and being a hermit, but now I'm kind of going back to that. I think that's the best option for my future generations. And I'm falling behind in a lot of things. I had a week of drama and being sick, and it threw me off completely.
And this will sound weird maybe, but I think we're supposed to get fevers, because every time I come out of one, I feel as though I have a different mentality than I did when I went in it. Like it gives some kind of clarity. I feel like this one brought me back to reality.
Shit's fucked, and I'm a huge bitch. What an epiphany.

some motivation

So, when Sarah gets home, that's it. I'm actually going to make macaroni and cheese and study for art history. I might even study Spanish. I'm not going to drink anymore beer tonight. I'll watch my civil war documentary, and then when I'm done, I'm going to go to sleep. It's done. Things are changing around here.

This newborn feeling of inspiration has come from the fact that this is my 500th blog post, and I feel like it's a time when I should start getting serious about life.