pussy

boy, do i feel like a dummy.

having a vagina is a curse. end of story amen.

KAREN

IS THE SHIT.
She cleaned my bedroom completely, and my bathroom.
Who does that? Freaks of nature do that.
I love my freaky roommates.

Thank god for my Art History classmates

or I might actually have to deal with the consequences of my actions. And who actually does that these days?
Squares, that's who, and you're talking to a circle who NEVER accepts punishment or "life lessons". Especially involving my (completely free) education.
Besides, I got my buds to bail me out.

Getting out of my warm bed has been proving to be extremely difficult.
Especially when I know my day won't be over until 10:30 tonight.

the more closely a man resembles a pig, a dog, or both, the more attractive he becomes.

so let the stand off begin.

Two hundred and forty five dollars

to get back the car.

Honestly, I have the worst judgement, and I really feel like my life is out of control. Everything bad keeps happening, and I don't know what to do.

I know this seems like a seemingly trivial thing to get upset about, but when you have no money, it's a big deal.
I just have to have faith and stay calm and be thankful I have the best friend anyone could have.

POW!

i suck.

i saw splintering wood like stakes,
keeping fingers and thighs pressed together.
i know better,
but i feel worse.
everything i see reminds me of flesh
and the way it sticks to my stomach
when you're pressed close,
when you sweat.
like lifting weights, i saw your muscles stretch.
arteries collapsed into salt
until nothing could be red anymore.
the last thing i felt was fear
the last thing i thought of was the sun.

MONDAY
the day i came home to pupils dilating into endless gaps of ink
where lines like dashes were pink behind my eyelids
when your beard began to grow,
because we are men--
no longer boys but
adults.

I could be a better person etc etc

but the term "better", when applied to human being, is so contrived that I find it hard to acknowledge it as a kind of categorization at all.
There is never better or worse, only what's good and what isn't.
You're on my level now, bro. Deal with it.

FINALS NEXT WEEK

School is almost over, and I'm actually pretty happy about it.

worst poem ever written

to the tune of a verse from "needle in the hay" by elliott smith

"you stupid black
cut me some slack
it's been a few years.
so keep talking crap,
but we've cut you some slack
for the last twenty five."

can i just add that i am not solely responsible for this?

a list of things i think are not cool

1) People's girlfriends
2) Thinking about someone when they're not there, i.e. missing someone.
3) Going to Spanish class
4) Running out of money and weed five days before payday.
5) That some of you people avidly read this blog but never comment.
6) Starting to like someone even when you know it's not going to amount to anything, and even if it did, you wouldn't want it to.
7) Still being in love with someone you aren't ready to be in love with.
8) Having two fifteen page study guides I have to review for my Art History final.
9) Getting two full days completely off from everything for the first time in months and spending them doing absolutely nothing.
10) Having to drive at least twenty-five minutes to get to anywhere I truly want or need to be.
11) That Sarah Q's do not grow on trees.

i can't get that sound you make out of my head
i can't even figure out what's making it
no one else around even seems to be noticing
it's only small enough for me

weighing of souls

Sarah's lists about me

1) The "Boy/Girl" List
Specific things I have done/said divided up into a boy or girl column, in order to determine whether I'm more like a boy or a girl.
2) Anna's to-do and not to-do list
One thing has been crossed out, and it's only because it included "or make Sarah do it."
3) The "I'm Going to Stop Talking to Jesse" Tally
A record of how many times I've said I'm going to stop talking to Jesse.
4) The "Hate List"
The reasons I shouldn't get back together with Jesse.

NOTE: I do not necessarily condone the content of some of these lists, but I do find them really funny.

why'd you have to go and make speech so complicated?

"you're trying to be persuasive, looks like informative to me."

of all the things to be thankful for

it should be bacon cheeseburgers and cute boys in cute jackets/jeans.


also, my pieces of flair are NOT depressing. at all.

rough draft

Final draft coming when I'm actually not sick anymore, which seems like it's never gonna happen.



Thank you Elliott Smith for letting me ruin another one of your songs.

Dexter 6.9

So if Gellar's in here, then that means you're....
ooohhhhhh

Soul mates

I often disregarded the idea of soul mates because how could we ever rest assured that we are ever going to meet them? How could we ever know where they are, who they are, or if we've already met them? Lately, though, I've realized that you don't always get to meet your soul mate. You can go your whole life without meeting your one true love. They're out there, but you'll never know. They might even be a fictional character.
In my case, I HAVE found my soul mate. I realize now that this is the only person who is meant for me, created by God as a MATE for my own SOUL. It's the one person in the whole world who could ever truly love and understand me, and the one person I could ever truly love and be loyal to.
Unfortunately, he is just an alter ego, and I will never get to be with him. But I'm thankful to know that there IS someone absolutely amazing out there for me, even if he will never be mine.



Thanks Charlie, for giving me hope that I will one day find someone kind of like you, but not my soul mate.

things i need to do while i'm a recluse

1) Clean room.
2) Buy groceries.
3) Study for Art History final.
4) Study for New Testament final.
5) Write final paper for New Testament.

elliott smith

the best little bastard to cover.

also

I don't think I'm ever going to go to the cafeteria again because I've already been through high school and am getting kind of embarrassed about being the only person eating completely alone.

I really miss my P.I.C.

back in the days where Sarah was actually fatter than me.

and can i just say

that it was a huge mistake downloading every episode of are you afraid of the dark ever??

because i mean, really. some of these are just terrible.

okay some things

1) Facebook-free zone.
2) Spilled gasoline all over myself, and it's not as refreshing as it sounds.
3) Found the best shirt we've ever sold at Hot Topic ever.



and can i just point out that i'm almost at fifteen pieces of flair?


Don't mind my heroin chic, it's all the rage.

4) Need to watch Dexter. This is getting serious.

first name wheelchair last name jimmy

I say that I'm over you, but I always end up under you.

I've been meaning to write a blog for sometime, but everything that starts to come out is negative.
I'm getting annoyed at how liberal I'm becoming. I lost the idea for a while of running off and being a hermit, but now I'm kind of going back to that. I think that's the best option for my future generations. And I'm falling behind in a lot of things. I had a week of drama and being sick, and it threw me off completely.
And this will sound weird maybe, but I think we're supposed to get fevers, because every time I come out of one, I feel as though I have a different mentality than I did when I went in it. Like it gives some kind of clarity. I feel like this one brought me back to reality.
Shit's fucked, and I'm a huge bitch. What an epiphany.

Yes, it's 1:20, but some people call it 4:20.
Yes, I posted this to piss you off.

oh solo mio

it's alright now come closer talk to me

there's a terrible reason buried down
wrecking itself
taking you with me

the more they was the more they were the more they wander from