dudes, hey

Some things I've learned about money...
1) "The best things in life are free" usually just means that someone better than you is paying.
2) Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT money that makes the world go round, but pussy, for sure.
3) No offense, God, but even Neopets has a money tree. Just saying.
4) Black rich people are entirely more tolerable than white rich people because they aren't sterile HOARDERS with bastard heirs to multimillion dollar fortunes.
5) Shoes are fucking expensive.

Anyway, I'm drunk, and I don't understand why anyone would end a movie like The Secret World of Arietty. For. Real. Oh, SO glad to know that everything turned out okay....EXCEPT WE DON'T KNOW SHIT!

a list of things i think are not cool

1) People's girlfriends
2) Thinking about someone when they're not there, i.e. missing someone.
3) Going to Spanish class
4) Running out of money and weed five days before payday.
5) That some of you people avidly read this blog but never comment.
6) Starting to like someone even when you know it's not going to amount to anything, and even if it did, you wouldn't want it to.
7) Still being in love with someone you aren't ready to be in love with.
8) Having two fifteen page study guides I have to review for my Art History final.
9) Getting two full days completely off from everything for the first time in months and spending them doing absolutely nothing.
10) Having to drive at least twenty-five minutes to get to anywhere I truly want or need to be.
11) That Sarah Q's do not grow on trees.

Sarah's lists about me

1) The "Boy/Girl" List
Specific things I have done/said divided up into a boy or girl column, in order to determine whether I'm more like a boy or a girl.
2) Anna's to-do and not to-do list
One thing has been crossed out, and it's only because it included "or make Sarah do it."
3) The "I'm Going to Stop Talking to Jesse" Tally
A record of how many times I've said I'm going to stop talking to Jesse.
4) The "Hate List"
The reasons I shouldn't get back together with Jesse.

NOTE: I do not necessarily condone the content of some of these lists, but I do find them really funny.

things i need to do while i'm a recluse

1) Clean room.
2) Buy groceries.
3) Study for Art History final.
4) Study for New Testament final.
5) Write final paper for New Testament.

Jesus Was a Badass

by Anna Hobbs

key points:

1) hella funny comebacks to the Pharisees
2) he didn't come to bring peace but a sword
3) turned into The Hulk at the temple
4) stirred things up
5) hung out with prostitutes
6) showed people who's boss
7) was so unfazed by everybody's nonsense
8) screwed around on the Sabbath
9) stayed in the desert for days and didn't even eat
10) rolled AT LEAST seven deep wherever he went


Understanding the New Testament Essay Topic? CHECK AND MATE!!

some things

1) I feel so silly for not having been reading. It's really much better than anything on a screen. Unless I suppose that screen is a Kindle.
2) My life certainly feels a little emptier without LA Noire. The end was rip off, and I'm still completely pissed the total lack of closure. I felt, as well as the fact that it was a little over the top, yet at the same time...unsatisfying. I know there will probably be a sequel, but it just won't be the same for me. I'll still, however, play the shit out of it.
3) Carpal tunnel syndrome is getting a little out of control. Time to invest in a wrist brace or something?
4) Listography.com is now my new favorite thing. I would like to transfer all my blogs to there, but from the looks of it, people aren't really big listers. It's like it hasn't blown up yet? I don't know, but I'm absolutely in love and ready to make it a full-time blog. Yet I feel like if I were to blog, it would have to be here, because I just don't have the heart to abandon this. Lists are one thing, but an outpour of emotions, events, and daily insights are necessarily meant to be categorized and bulleted. Although, I'm doing it here, as I always have in these blogs.
5) I seriously can't wait for school to start. Two+ more months. Unfair. I have nothing interesting or worth achieving.

TO DO LIST v. 2.0

1) Take Jonah on a walk.
2) Get a tan.
3) Get unicycle for hot dog eating contest.
4) Spray cactus.
5) Kill all resident coyotes.

Feeling entirely uninspired as of late, but I thought I'd drop some quick shit.

a) Subway's cool.
b) School sucks, but I have B's, so it's all good.
c) Had the flu, now I don't.
d) Some songs you should download:

1. Blonde Redhead--Top Ranking
2. Loro--Pinback
3. Summer Skin--Death Cab for Cutie
4. Hit the Wall--Broken Social Scene presents Brendan Canning
5. The Only Moment We Were Alone--Explosions in the Sky.

see ya

dayummm

some shit is goin down so lemme break it down

1) Work.
Starting a new job on Monday at the one and only

2) School.
Starts Tuesday, majoring in English, preparing to brave the mean streets of general education.
3) Driving
Look for me on the road within the next week.
4) Jesse.
He's my boyfriend, and he's the shit.
5) Fallout 3.
The only video game addiction I support.

People Who Deserve a Second Chance

1) Carrot Top. You know, that box of props thing? I think it's great. Don't be so hard on him. Regardless of that horrible plastic surgery/botox deal he's got going on these days, I don't think he's a bad guy.


2) Jennifer Aniston. I don't know about you, but I remember Rachel, and that's almost enough. Not to mention that she is ten times more adorable than that creepy crackhead Angelina Jolie and her succubus ways.


3) Brand New. Okay, it's been forever already since their last album, but they're in the studio as we speak, so we just have to be patient! And a lot of people don't like their last album because it was as poppy as the first two (which is bullshit because Devil and God was MUCH better) but I HAVE A FEELING this new one is going to be GREAT.


4) New York. NEW YORK WHERE ARE YOU? Yuck why am I even ASKING.


5) My Dad the Rock Star, the love child of Gene Simmons and Nickelodeon. There's an article about it here. Okay, not the most popular Nickelodeon cartoon around, but it is definitely one of my favorites. Nicktoons, the reject cartoon channel, doesn't even play it anymore, so that's how I know I'm in trouble. Which leads to number six...


6) Martin Mystery. Also another great and recently canceled Nicktoons show, from the creators of Totally Spies, based on an Italian comic book. Martin was certainly a dreamboat.


7) Picasso. Francis Bacon may have stolen his spotlight, but we should never forget who the master of figurative modernism is. At least, the original master.

A Few Issues

1) I think movies are strange because they take parts of life and portray them in a way that would never actually happen. It's frustrating sometimes, but in a way, it's good, because I don't think people really watch movies to get some reality. I'm mostly interested in movies that are way different than what my life is like, or something takes place that would never happen in my life. Randomly, a movie like my life will come out, and it will be something terrible like Taxi Driver, or Raging Bull, or Ronin, or, really, any Roberto Di Nero movie, and it's always a very profound experience for me.
One movie that really frustrates me, although it's probably one of my favorite movies, is Life is Beautiful. Because, really, I find it hard to believe that this guy was able to sneak his child into the barracks of his concentration camp, who just chills with him throughout the entire movie. That is a detail that is hard to overlook at times. I don't know, maybe the Italian Jews had it a little more lax in than the other Jews of the world in their Italian concentration camps, you know how they are.
2) There sure are a lot of power outlets in my room. Sometimes I worry about electromagnetic waves. I don't like the idea that these waves can give me a feeling of paranoia and fear, and the sensation that I'm being watched. It's going to make me think the house is haunted.
3) I'm running out of things to wear, and it's frustrating me!!!!
4) I can't find my remote control anywhere, I have no clue where it could be. This makes life a lot more difficult and inconvenient for me, because I hate getting out of bed to change the channel or turn it off. I guess I'm a little spoiled when it comes to the latest technology, such as jacuzzis and bobble heads and remote controls!
5) wonder more want more than we did before the shit is running and it runs deep i'm way out when you mean it on the inside you still can't get to me fits around me so tight fits around me so tight fits around me SO TIGHT fits around me SO TIGHT fits around me fits around me fits around me fits around me fits around fits around me fits around me fits around me

It's TUESDAY

some things that have been going on with me

1) Tupac. Tupac is really gay.
2) 28 Weeks Later. Pretty gross movie. It was a little too disgusting, I could do without quite a few of the images imprinted on my mind.
3) Music. I'm really down with my guitar.
4) Home videos. As a kid, I think I looked a lot prettier. These home videos have been making nostalgic for a "normal" life.
5) Being blind. I feel like ever since I took that eye exam, I have way worse vision than I remember.
6) Church. Still haven't been going.
7) Sense of smell. I like how things smell like they have always smelled, especially when those smells are tied to memories that make me feel good.
8) Being broke. I guess not having money in a way has made life a lot more simple, but also a lot less fun. Either way, you do appreciate the smaller things in life. Like cashing in change, that's really exciting. But I spent my last eight dollars yesterday on soda and beer.
9) Smoking. This almost directly correlates with being broke, because I have quit smoking simply because I have no more money to buy packs of cigarettes. Also, most everyone I know smokes shitty menthols, so bumming cigarettes isn't all that desirable. I tend to give up because I got drunk, so you just really need a cigarette. Unfortunately, that cigarette is either a Camel No. 9 Menthe, or a Marlboro Menthol of some kind, and it kinda ruins it for me.
10) My mom. Today is my Mom's fiftieth birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM. I couldn't get her a present because any money I've had I've spent on beer because I'm a freaking loser!

i am sick of

1) crazy nights
2) being thirsty
3) being on my period
4) bad news
5) black dog hair on every square inch of tile in this house
6) drunken disclaimers
7) fucking in fear that you will never fuck again
8) the word "goose"
9) texas chain massacre vibes
10) the smell of syrup
11) being bad
12) my dog running off into the neighbor's yard every morning when i first wake up
13) feeling like shit every day
14) drinkin smokin lyin dyin
15) dipset and all 617 associate rap music. sorry boston but seriously stick to reggaeton.

YEAAHHHH

EAT TOAST DUMMY THIS IS ANNA HOBBS FOR YOUR HEALTH

happy bdya mlk soon happy ianguatarion day soon obama happy saturday night party people happy burn anniversary seal haha omg that was such alow blow and not even true.

also, happy water drinking party happy text mwessaging streak happy ipod charging hour happy smooth as huevos eve.

this is another life saving message from ann ahobbs and you know yuou saw it coming.

toehr things to say:
1) this was a night of knights
2) don't blame harry piotter because you cant get it together
3) parts of me wondrss if i should have bene male
4) parts of me wonder when my raging hormones are going to chill.


respect to connect

an assortment of good things

1) I need new guitar strings. I'm starting to get depressed about it.
2) Who wants to go to Miami in March? We will be seeing
-Death Cab
-Lucero
-Cold War Kids
-Snoop Dogg
but more importantly, Broken Social Scene. Which is really the only reason I want to go, but you know, I would go anywhere in this state for them if I was able.
3) Also, be on the look out for a music myspace coming from me and my associates. We're really punk.
4) Tough night last night for these people:







and one of my regular Circle K customers


5) I think I love every instrument ever created ever I am in love.
6) I love everybody. You're all beautiful.

the only men i love.

Hanson, always and forever.


Matt Damon with a Boston accent circa Good Will Hunting.


Liam Neeson.


Kevin Drew, the musician who knows me better than anyone without ever knowing I exist.


My newest love, Michael C. Hall, but only as a secret serial killer.


Gary Oldman in every shape and form he has ever been in.


Seth Rogan, the epitome of my dream guy.

My Hypotheses--The Science of Self-Awareness: Part I

Hypothesis 1) If I can access my conscious mind while I sleep, then I can control my dreams.
Dreams exist, and I'm going to prove it.
I discovered this in a paralytic state of reality a couple of nights ago. I reached it on accident, as I was dreaming normally, but then something happened where it got to the point that this was undeniably real, and that I was, indeed, conscious, although no longer in my usual third dimension. It is rather indescribable, but now I'm going to devote the rest of my life to the research and study of dreams. If anyone could volunteer to be a couple of test subjects, it would be greatly appreciated. I, myself, am planning on revisiting the comatose state I was in previously, if the circumstances are fitting and the timing is just right. There I discovered an alternate existence that is very real and can possibly be controlled if I play my cards right. It is going to be dangerous. If I appear dead, don't panic, I am only paralyzed. However, if I am dead, don't go blaming it on anything supernatural. For once, this is strictly science, and at times, there are casualties for the greater good of discovery. Know that I did not die in vain.
Hypothesis 2) If I am stuck puking in Hernando County, then God must have had good reason to bring me here. I've developed four possible solutions to why God brought a girl like me to a town like this, and they are:
a) to see how long it would take before I shoot myself in the face
b) to see how long it would take before someone else shoots me in the face
c) to see how long it would take before I get off my ass and actually try to do something with my life, which in turn challenges me and tests my faith.
d) to mess with me simply because he finds me rather annoying, and I ask for too many snakes.(you know, if a son asks a father for bread, would he in turn give him a snake? But sometimes, we ask our father for snakes, and of course, in turn, he gives us nothing.)
Now, knowing the nature and character of God, I am inclined to choose option C as the most likely explanation. Although, I would have chosen C anyway, because I'm horrible at multiple choice, and that's usually your best bet. However, you never really know. So on the off chance that God's plans can be summed up in these four bullet points, which they can't, there is a 75% likelihood that I am shit out of luck.
Hypothesis 3) I've come to the conclusion that people really don't give two shits about you, or me. Nobody cares. This hypothesis can easily be proven. Although, I should probably put it in the correct sentence structure:
IF people are so concerned with their own personal contributions to society, and their own problems, THEN they really don't give two shits about you, or me. So basically, don't bother.
Like I said, I can prove this easily.
"Hey, can I talk to you for a second? It's kind of important"
"No, not right now, I'm busy stacking these papers."
Any questions?
Hypothesis 4) If I do not become a writer, then I will be making a serious mistake. I HAVE to write for my profession. I just have to do it. If I do not write, I will will ruin my life. Now, I know YOU GUYS have no interest in anything I have to say, but that's because you know me and you have your biases, so it doesn't really matter to you. You can picture me typing away alone in my bedroom in complete darkness except for the glow of my computer screen, and it probably turns you off. Hey, I understand. But I think there are people out there who WILL give a shit about what I write, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to find them.
Because I've been sitting here for weeks now, and I've realized there is simply nothing else I would ever want to do ever, and nothing else I have ever wanted to do since the time I was five years old. When I am writing, it is the only time I feel completely at peace with myself (not counting spiritual experiences, obviously, although in a lot of ways, writing IS a spiritual experience for me). It makes me happier and is really the only worldly thing that can satisfy me at all. It is really all that I am. And I'm going to do it even if it kills me.
So haters, speak up now, so I can remember to NOT thank you when I'm on Oprah.

Commercials

You know, I've been watching a lot of TV, and I realized I actually enjoy many of the commercials. The reason I like them, though, is because they piss me off. But I guess it's in a good way. I can't help but wonder what the hell these people in advertising are, and why they can make commercials and I can't!
Seriously, my commercials would be a little better than theirs, I think.
Of course, there are some that I like just because I like them, they entertain me, for some reason.
There are commercials I can't stand, though, like Wal-Mart ones, or ones about cars.

Here are some of the commercials I like:
1)Brighthouse commercials
--the ones where they're showing all these happy families in their houses enjoying the cable services. I just think about how funny it is that there are people who have to act it out. I mean, they just walk around smiling. AWKWARD.
--asterisk hunting. WTF?
2) that reminds me, comcast commercials were pretty good, too.
3) I must be getting old, because there was this Kay Jeweler ad where some guy proposes to her, and I was just like, awww, that's SOOO cute, and I got all teary eyed. But yeah, I thought it was sweet!
4) Those Dyson vacuum commercials, with the scientist inventor guy with a British accent explain his state of the art, technologically-advanced vacuum cleaner. I don't have much an opinion of it, but I love the way they make it seem like it is the most posh piece of plastic ever.
5( the Nikon ones with Ashton Kutcher. Just because I love Ashton Kutcher. TO THIS DAY.
6) The tractor supply store, whose slogan is "The stuff you need out here."
Out WHERE, exactly? This is just Florida. I mean, I haven't seen very many tractors, but I guess I do live in the more populated area of the county. Either way, it showed a woman trying on cowboy boots with a real serious look on her face, and then her husband came up with a pair of cowboy boots for himself and smiled down at her, and he smiled, too. Pretty weird.

I'd write more, but I can't really think of any, and there's a special on the History channel of Nostradamus and why not, I'd rather watch that than write this.
Apparently, he predicted September 11th, the Kennedy assassinations, and the rise of Nazi Germany!
They also have Penn and Teller as one set of guests that they interview about the subject. What do THEY know about Nostradamus?
Hmm
I'll get back to you on this one later...

things i've learned from forensic files

do not trust the following:
millionaires
neighbors
police officers
bar hoppers
salesmen
strangers
hitchhikers
fry cooks
customers
judges
cell mates
estranged spouses
lovers
clergymen
students
teachers
prosecutors
texans, floridians, and californians
maintenance men
your boyfriends ex girlfriend
baby daddies
fbi agents' daughters
black people
teenagers
AIDS victims

but you can, however, trust
criminalists
homicide detectives
ballistic/firearms examiners
forensic botanists/anthropologists/psychiatrists/pathologists
coroners
criminal profilers
crime scene investigators
fingerprint/tool-marking experts
science
the dead bodies