in other news

last night was a lot of fun, and i should go to punk/metal shows more often, especially if there are going to be more girl frontmen of death metal bands.
whaaat??

KAREN

IS THE SHIT.
She cleaned my bedroom completely, and my bathroom.
Who does that? Freaks of nature do that.
I love my freaky roommates.

of all the things to be thankful for

it should be bacon cheeseburgers and cute boys in cute jackets/jeans.


also, my pieces of flair are NOT depressing. at all.

The people you know would probably laugh if they knew.

worst blog ever

So not only does there have to be a congregation of college-aged Aryan men all hanging out in one place, but they all have to be wearing tight, white pants. DAMN YOU OHLONE BASEBALL TEAM!!!

sometimes i have to fall to my knees. nothing will happen that isn't supposed to happen, so i won't continue to be so doubtful. there have been worse things, even in my life. when i think of the worst that could happen at this point or in the future, it's better than about a hundred points of my past.
faith is the simplest thing, but sometimes it is just so incomprehensible that i can't help but wonder how it can be expected of us at all. i don't know how i'm supposed to understand it fully, or trust it fully. i have so many physical senses that, despite what i know, everything is muddled. sometimes it's so good that it's painful, and i'm really happy that they exist. sometimes, i feel that if i didn't have faith, maybe things would be more simple, and decisions wouldn't always carry this weight of spirit, or depth of soul. sometimes i just don't want to know anymore.
but in the end, i'm always just thankful. i'm silly for worrying and almost unabashed in my naivety, and still, there is nothing but another chance for a good life and an infinite amount of backup plans.


props to the one who has literally thought about EVERYthing.

some things

1) I feel so silly for not having been reading. It's really much better than anything on a screen. Unless I suppose that screen is a Kindle.
2) My life certainly feels a little emptier without LA Noire. The end was rip off, and I'm still completely pissed the total lack of closure. I felt, as well as the fact that it was a little over the top, yet at the same time...unsatisfying. I know there will probably be a sequel, but it just won't be the same for me. I'll still, however, play the shit out of it.
3) Carpal tunnel syndrome is getting a little out of control. Time to invest in a wrist brace or something?
4) Listography.com is now my new favorite thing. I would like to transfer all my blogs to there, but from the looks of it, people aren't really big listers. It's like it hasn't blown up yet? I don't know, but I'm absolutely in love and ready to make it a full-time blog. Yet I feel like if I were to blog, it would have to be here, because I just don't have the heart to abandon this. Lists are one thing, but an outpour of emotions, events, and daily insights are necessarily meant to be categorized and bulleted. Although, I'm doing it here, as I always have in these blogs.
5) I seriously can't wait for school to start. Two+ more months. Unfair. I have nothing interesting or worth achieving.

some things

1) Dogs are smart in ways you wouldn't normally think about. This morning when I sat down at the computer, Jonah bolted to my room to get his rawhide. I just think it's cool that he remembered where it was, or at least, could figure out where it was without any hesitation.
2) Today I experienced my first rain without clouds. The trees have some pretty thick leaves here in the jungle, so they hold a LOT of rain. Well, I was outside smoking a cigarette when the wind started blowing like crazy, so the leaves were moving like crazy. Of course, all the rain water came down, but it sounded and even looked like it was really raining. I mean, I've seen water blown from trees before, but it never made me have to look up and double check that it really wasn't raining.
3) I had a dream last night I was sucking on Subway pickles. Mmmmmmm.
4) I also dreamt Sam was throwing me a high school graduation party!!! Because I never DID have a party.
5) Broken Social Scene is recording a new album!!! I think it's going to be different from their last two, like, maybe a little more chill. They are recording in Chicago with John McEntire, who is in Tortoise and, one of my personal favorites, The Sea and Cake. You can read Kevin Drew's blog entry here. But personally, I don't think they can fully abandon their vast array of instruments they normally like to include. I mean, I just can't picture a BSS album without a horn or two, or even without a woodwind! But I guess we will just have to wait and see...
6) I woke up at, like 8:45 this morning! I don't remember the last time I've been awake this early on a Sunday on my own accord. I'm starting to like being awake, but the only problem is I get tired a lot earlier! I mean, I went to bed around 11:45 last night. Lammeeee.
7) I'm starting to like a lot of things, and people, a lot more.
8) I'm even starting to like it here.

Life has a strange way of being incredibly surreal in the midst of very lucid reality. Sometimes, it's almost hard to believe that I'm even alive. Things are happening in a very compelling chain of events, and it doesn't even feel like my life anymore. This is good, because I never really liked it anyway, but it's still kind of odd. I feel like I'm simply following a road. So far, it's a pretty easy walk, and the scenery is great!


More later some other time...........

dayummm

some shit is goin down so lemme break it down

1) Work.
Starting a new job on Monday at the one and only

2) School.
Starts Tuesday, majoring in English, preparing to brave the mean streets of general education.
3) Driving
Look for me on the road within the next week.
4) Jesse.
He's my boyfriend, and he's the shit.
5) Fallout 3.
The only video game addiction I support.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up somewhere different

When I opened my eyes I saw bright white walls shining with hand painted oil from my palms and the soles of a man who feels harder than the rain, but softer than the pain that sinks into my hips when his rough fingertips
search my whole body to discover the bone.
He also feels like too much sun and makes my pupils dilate and red spread underneath my skin until my limbs are fresh with heat, and my heart stops keeping beat as it slows, sinks, and swells, to the dismay of my cells
who come in the millions, and yet feel quite alone.
My head hangs on my spine like a broken streetlight
while my skirt is flying upward like your wanton kite
I want to be the one girl that you want to treat right
and not just in case you might get cold at night.
There are days when the sky is the film in my eyes, and it's hard to believe that the world isn't changing when my heart is expanding every day. But sometimes these feelings, they only can taunt me, when I can't imagine the reasons you want me, and the way that I feel is too good to be real
so this must be a dream that we've made.
And for those two weeks, I was tobacco free. Now your lungs are expanding, and your muscles stretch beneath me, and your soul drips like water onto a fever as my head becomes bright and increasingly warm, but before the words I choke on finally form, you have figured it out, and now love kills all doubt.
You know what I am, and you still aren't afraid.

HEY GUYS

whats happening.


So, I hate Advil commercials, also. Whoever that narrating woman is drives me crazy.
But that's not why I decided to post a blog tonight. I'm here to start a series about classical music.
Let's start with Chopin.
PSYCH

I'm beating around the bush.
Okay, what I really want to blog about is how good of a mood I am in today.
I'm very happy to have gone to church and played music for people, and I'm very happy to have a good friend who actually cares about me and thinks I'm cool.
I like being able to be myself, and these are two circumstances where I feel like I can be.
Anyways, I look forward to the following weeks. I think this year is going to be much better than the last.

an assortment of good things

1) I need new guitar strings. I'm starting to get depressed about it.
2) Who wants to go to Miami in March? We will be seeing
-Death Cab
-Lucero
-Cold War Kids
-Snoop Dogg
but more importantly, Broken Social Scene. Which is really the only reason I want to go, but you know, I would go anywhere in this state for them if I was able.
3) Also, be on the look out for a music myspace coming from me and my associates. We're really punk.
4) Tough night last night for these people:







and one of my regular Circle K customers


5) I think I love every instrument ever created ever I am in love.
6) I love everybody. You're all beautiful.

Darth Vader

My body continues to fail me. I have be come increasingly distraught by the ever-present knowledge of my own mortality.
This is why I'm having my minions design a full suit of black body armor, with a matching cape and helmet.
Now I will be indestructible until further notice.

What I assumed to be menstrual cramps was actually liver failure. Let's hope I live to see the new year.

It's eighty one degrees. Merry Christmas!

Florida weather

By the way, I thought you all should know that at two o clock in the morning, it was thirty degrees outside.
FAHRENHEIT.
Apparently, tropical environments do have other seasons. I am happy about this.
SO LEAVE YOUR STEREOTYPES AT THE DOOR PEOPLE. NO ONE HERE IS AS TAN AS WE'VE IMAGINED.
except for the naturally tan and olive-skinned variety.
see harlan and my sister.